


Gravity

by SunSkip



Series: Unicorns Are Real [3]
Category: BLACKPINK (Band), K-pop
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-26
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-12-20 01:04:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11909994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunSkip/pseuds/SunSkip
Summary: “Don’t you think it’s time you stopped running away?”





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

 

 

Jennie had been attracted to Lisa from the very beginning.

There was something about her, Jennie couldn’t quite put her finger on it, she just knew she liked the girl.

The day Lisa was introduced to the rest of the trainees she completely caught them off guard. Sure, they had been told that the new recruit was a good dancer, but none of them had expected her to watch the choreography once and memorize the whole thing.

Jennie was impressed, to say the least.

When Jennie introduced herself, first in Korean, then in English, Lisa gave her the brightest smile she had ever seen.

Naturally, after that first day, Jennie befriended and started to admire the younger girl.

Not only was Lisa a good dancer, she was a hard worker. The mere fact that she came all the way from Thailand, _all alone_ , to start training under YG _and_ learn Korean at the same time was inspiring. Jennie didn’t know how she could pull it all off, but she did.

It came as a pleasant surprise to both girls when the company decided to have Jennie switch dorm rooms and share one with Lisa instead. They reasoned that Jennie was the perfect candidate to help Lisa improve her Korean outside of classes and both girls happily complied. Jennie liked her previous roommate but she wanted to get to know Lisa better, and what better way than to live with her?

Somewhere along the way Jisoo and Chaeyoung joined them.

 

Their friendship came more naturally than breathing.

 

Somewhere along the way Lisa’s feelings for Jennie changed from those of friendship to something else.

 

**

 

Lately Jennie had noticed that Lisa was constantly showering her with affection: compliments, hand holding, hugs, cuddling, _kissing_.

It wasn’t something new, per se, Lisa had always been affectionate. In fact, she did the exact same thing with Jisoo and Chaeyoung. The problem didn’t really lie with Lisa, at least not in this case.

The problem lay with Jennie.

Before, she would take the younger girl’s affection calmly and with a smile on her face.

Now?

Now, a mere smile from the younger girl put her on edge.

A compliment had her blushing like a schoolgirl.

A brush of their hands sent tingles up her arm.

A hug gave her butterflies.

And a kiss?

A simple kiss on the cheek nearly had her heart beating out of her chest.

Jennie didn’t like it.

Not one bit.

 

**

 

It didn’t exactly take a genius to notice that Jennie had been trying to keep her distance from Lisa for nearly two months.

Lisa, of course, noticed within one week.

Every time Lisa invited her out, just the two of them, Jennie would come up with a flimsy lie as to why she couldn’t.

Every time she touched her, while there were no cameras around, the brunette would almost immediately pull away and make up an excuse to be somewhere else.

Every time they found themselves alone in the dorm the brunette would lock herself in her room alone and say she just needed time to herself or was too tired and needed a nap.

Every single time.

Lisa was sick of it.

She wished Jennie just _told_ her what she did that was _so wrong_ for her to be avoiding her like the plague.

 

**

 

Jennie noticed the way Lisa seemed to deflate whenever she made up an excuse to be away from her.

She noticed the pouts and the sadness that consumed Lisa’s eyes after every rejection.

She told herself it was necessary.

She knew the feelings she had for the younger girl weren’t normal. It simply wasn’t how friends were supposed to be.

At some point, she started dreaming about Lisa. At first it was an innocent, friendly, date that could well pass for two close friends who were out together. Then, there was the one where they kissed like two lovesick teenagers and Jennie enjoyed every second of it. Soon after she started dreaming of Lisa dancing with sharp, fluid, movements and that somehow morphed into something else entirely. Something that set her core ablaze and had her waking up, soaked in her own sweat, with a moan on her lips.

_“Lisa.”_

She sat bolt upright, her eyes immediately widened in horror, and she clamped her mouth shut.

Lisa’s room was right next door.

_Oh, no. Did she hear?_

Not five seconds later Lisa barged in through her doorway, eyes full of concern, and scanned the room for anything that seemed out of place.

Jennie stiffened under the covers when the blonde’s gaze fell upon her. Lisa’s eyes softened at the sight of the brunette’s disheveled appearance and she stepped further into the room until she came to a stop just by Jennie’s bedside.

“Unnie, are you okay?”

“I- I’m fine,” Jennie waved her off

“Really? I thought I heard you call me.”

“I was just…sleep talking.”

“Did you have a nightmare?”

Jennie shook her head.

“Whatever it is, you can tell me.” Lisa sat beside her and reached for her hand only for Jennie to immediately pull away, as if burned.

Lisa frowned, “Why do you keep doing that?”

Jennie’s wide eyes snapped up to meet her own.

“Why do you keep avoiding me?” Lisa hung her head. “What did I do?”

Jennie stared at the younger girl in silence, she was at a loss for words.

How was she supposed to tell her that her feelings had changed? That she couldn’t stand to be around her any longer because her body reacted differently? That she couldn’t deal with the hurricane of emotions because she felt like her own life was spinning out of control, all due to one single girl? How was she supposed to tell Lisa that she was in love with her without ruining absolutely everything?

She couldn’t.

And so, she kept her silence.

“Whatever I did, just tell me,” the younger girl turned her pleading eyes to the brunette.

Jennie shook her head once more.

“Unnie,” she reached for her hand again and was finally successful, “I can’t stand you avoiding me all the time. I need you. _Please_ , I just want to fix it.”

Jennie saw the tears threatening to spill out of the younger girl’s eyes and her heart clenched within her chest. She never liked seeing Lisa hurt. Yet, here she sat, with the younger girl before her. Lisa was hurting _because of her_.

Maybe she had been approaching this the wrong way.

She swallowed the lump in her throat and spoke.

“I’m not avoiding you.”

“Yes, you are, I’m not stupid. You don’t think I noticed? Do you really think I’m that oblivious?”

A lone tear made its way down her pale cheek and Jennie had the sudden urge to stop it in its tracks.

“Lisa-,”

“Please, just tell me and I’ll make it right.”

“You can’t.”

“What?”

“You can’t make it right…Lisa, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Then why have you been-,”

Jennie pulled the taller girl into a hug and buried her face in her neck.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled against her skin, “I was being stupid. I’m so sorry.”

Lisa, content with finally having the older girl in her arms again, hugged her back.

“That’s not a good reason,” she mumbled into dark hair.

“It’s not, I’m sorry.”

“You won’t tell me, will you?”

“No.”

“Will you stop avoiding me?”

_If it makes you happy._

“Yes.”

“Good…I missed you,” Lisa pulled back slightly to place a kiss on her temple.

Jennie stiffened, just slightly, then made herself relax under the younger girl’s touch. Maybe, this time, she could soldier through and bury her feelings.

 

 

(She couldn’t, not really.)

 

**

 

Things had gone back to normal, kind of.

After they made up, for some reason, Lisa started being even _more_ touchy than before. She felt like she had something to make up for, and what better way to do that than by giving Jennie her absolute, undivided, love and attention?

She was going above and beyond.

When Jennie so much as frowned, she’d be beside her in an instant, ready to make the older girl laugh with one foolish joke or another.

When Jennie got home late due to a late schedule she would be up to receive her with open arms and some hot food.

Whenever they had a stage performance Lisa would go through the trouble of anonymously sending the brunette flowers. Of course, it wasn’t exactly anonymous, especially considering that Jennie turned to her and gave her the widest smile she had ever seen after reading the first note.

Lisa loved that smile.

If she were to go blind one day, that smile would surely serve as her one and only hope. Of course, it wasn’t just the smile that gave her purpose, it was the girl behind it.

Lisa had felt so lost when Jennie suddenly started avoiding and ignoring her. Going through that experience made her realize that maybe Jennie meant so much more to her than she had initially thought.

 

**

 

Jennie couldn’t figure out if she liked or hated all the attention Lisa was giving her.

On one hand, she loved it when the blonde was all over her. She loved it when she went home and Lisa was still up, waiting for her.

She loved the flowers the blonde started sending her after every performance. She treasured the little loved-filled notes that were included.

But, most of all, she loved the way Lisa looked at her. Her gaze full of such fondness that it made Jennie want to melt into her embrace and kiss her until the end of her days.

She loved so many things yet hated them at the same time.

She hated them all because each and every one of those things only made her fall deeper in love with the younger girl.

She hated that she couldn’t control her own, growing, unrelenting feelings.

 

**

 

“Woohoo! Congratulations to us!”

“Two years together, baby!”

“Cheers!” Jennie raised her glass up in the air, towards the other girls and they all followed suit to clink their glasses together.

They’d had a week packed with schedules, all leading up to their two-year debut anniversary. And now, here they were, at the end of their busy day, celebrating the day that made their dreams come true.

They’d all come such a long way, faced so many new challenges, and grown together as a group and as individuals.

They celebrated late into the wee hours of the night. It wasn’t until it was time to actually go off and sleep that they realized just how drunk they all were.

Chaeyoung, who had drunk the least amount of alcohol, dragged Jisoo into her room and ended up staying there to sleep when the older girl wouldn’t let her go.

Lisa, naturally, decided to help Jennie into her room. Jennie, however, had other plans, her body had a mind of its own. She could barely stand up straight on her own two legs. So, when she tripped and was given the sudden opportunity to kiss Lisa, simply because her lips were so _close_ and so _kissable_ , she took it.

It took several, long, moments for her head to catch up with her body. When it did, she immediately pulled away, terrified of the consequences.

“Oh my god.”

Lisa was speechless, Jennie’s actions left her mind reeling. The kiss was surely unexpected but, _God_ , had she wanted it to happen.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

“I shouldn’t have done that.”

“But you did.”

“Lisa, please, let’s just forget-,”

“I can’t.”

 

_How could I when I hear you wake up almost every single day with my name on your lips?_

 

“W-what?”

“I can’t just forget that, Jennie, that’s damn near impossible.”

“Look, it was a mistake, I thought you were-,”

 

_Liar._

 

“Unnie, don’t lie to me, I know you love me too.”

Jennie’s eyes went as wide as saucers.

“I- you- what?”

“I know you love me too.”

“Too?”

“I love you…not the way I love Chaeyoung or Jisoo. I love you, in the way that I want to kiss you and wake up with you by my side for the rest of my life.”

“Lisa-,”

“Don’t you think it’s time you stopped running away?”

 

She did.

At least, in that moment.

 

So, when their lips came together and met like two perfect puzzle pieces Jennie let herself go.

She forgot herself and her inhibitions.

She forgot all the reasons she had denied herself such sweet addiction for so long.

She forgot that all her hard work had been for one dream.

(But then, wasn’t Lisa also her dream?)

She forgot the danger that came with losing herself and giving in to her feelings for the younger girl, only if for a night.

 

**

 

The next morning arrived as abruptly as a train off the rails.

Jennie woke up disoriented and completely naked in her own bed. Her confusion quickly turned into horror once she turned and found none other than a completely naked Lisa sprawled out beside her.

_This can’t be happening._

She got out of bed as silently as she could, gathered her clothes, and bolted out of the room. Facing Lisa first thing in the morning, especially after _that_ , was not something she was up for.

 

**

 

“I know you’re avoiding me again.”

Lisa had cornered her in one of the practice rooms.

Jennie had taken to practicing her dance moves more, she had mentioned to the other girls how she wanted to improve. Really, it was all a lie, she just wanted to spend the least amount of time in the dorm, which is exactly where Lisa would be.

However, here she stood, trapped in a place she had previously come to find solace.

“What are you doing here?”

“I came to practice.”

“There are other practice rooms.”

“I wanted to talk to you, I barely even see you outside of our schedules anymore.”

Jennie huffed and turned her back on the younger girl, “Well, we talked, now go.”

“Don’t be like that, I know what you’re doing,” Lisa stepped closer.

“What am I doing?” Jennie whirled around to glare at the blonde but took a step back in surprise, Lisa was much closer than she had anticipated.

“You’re trying to push me away again.”

“I’m not-,”

“Do you really think I would just forget about that night and walk away like nothing happened?”

Jennie straightened up and hardened her gaze, “ _Nothing_ happened.”

Lisa swiftly closed the rest of the distance between them and captured her lips in a soft kiss, her hands on Jennie’s waist, pulling her closer. She robbed Jennie of her breath and swallowed her words of protest. She explored her mouth like she was looking to uncover every secret. She kissed her cheeks and over her jawline. Then, just when she thought the brunette would pull her closer to kiss her again, Jennie started pushing at her shoulders.

“We shouldn’t-,” her protests were quickly cut off by a gasp as Lisa sucked on her neck.

“Lisa,” she tried to push the younger girl away, to no avail, her strength had left her.

“We can’t,” she whimpered at the soft brush of Lisa’s lips against her sensitive skin, “Lisa, please, _stop_.”

The blonde stopped her ministrations and looked her in the eyes, her voice coming out rough.

“Why? Why can’t we?”

“It’s not allowed, we never should have-,”

“ _Why_?”

“It’s wrong.”

Lisa frowned at the implication and rested her forehead against Jennie’s, her hand on the brunette’s cheek while the latter’s hands were on her shoulders, trying to keep her distance.

“Does this feel wrong?”

Her breath ghosted over the shorter girl’s lips.

“Does it feel wrong when I touch you?” She caressed her cheek, a sigh escaped from the girl before her.

“Does it feel wrong when I kiss you?” Her thumb brushed over Jennie’s bottom lip.

Jennie took several seconds to process the questions that Lisa posed, she already knew the answers, deep down.

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and shook her head.

“Then, why?”

.

.

.

.

“I’m scared,” she mumbled, her voice trembling.

“Of me?”

“Of everything.”

“Unnie-,”

“If we get caught-,”

“We won’t.”

“ _If we get caught_ it’s all over.”

She pushed the blonde farther from herself.

“Jennie-,”

“ _No_ , Lisa,” she let out an exasperated breath, “the company, the fans, Blackpink, it’ll all be _over_. Everything we ever worked for...gone.”

“We can be careful, if-,”

“Are you even _listening_ to me?”

Lisa stepped away, surprised and taken aback by Jennie’s tone of voice.

“We’re not the only ones that will be affected, have you thought about Jisoo and Chaeyoung? It’s not just our careers that will be over, Lisa, it’s theirs, too…You can’t be that selfish… _We_ can’t be that selfish.”

Her voice cracked as she slumped against the wall, her gaze downcast. She couldn’t bear to look at Lisa in that moment. She knew, if she looked into her eyes, even if just for a second, her resolve would crumble.

There was a long moment of tense silence as Lisa processed what Jennie had said. Her eyes watered as the words hit home. She knew everything Jennie said was true, it was a big risk, but in her mind, it was all worth it. She had thought, foolishly, that they could pull it off. If it was with Jennie…anything was possible, she would _make_ it possible, if necessary.

But Jennie shot her down, just like that.

If Jennie wasn’t willing to try, there was simply no point.

It would be useless.

Completely hopeless.

She felt her throat closing up, the tears clouded her eyes and overflowed, two lone droplets rolled down her face and left wet trails behind. Soon, more would follow.

She shook her head and took a shaky breath that resembled something more of a gasp.

The blonde took one step forward and Jennie stiffened against the wall, she wasn’t ready to be that close to her again, not yet.

Without hesitating, Lisa closed the distance between them and kissed her, hard.

Jennie whimpered, her hands were balled up into fists as she tried to push the taller girl away, but they were trapped between their bodies and Lisa didn’t budge a single inch.

Lisa kissed her as if it was her last chance.

(It was.)

She explored her mouth and ingrained the taste in her memory.

Several more seconds passed before Lisa pulled away and they both gasped for air.

“I’m sorry,” the blonde whispered, her voice strained, “I won’t do that again.”

Jennie’s gaze remained on her collarbones, travelled up her neck, and stopped on her kiss swollen lips. She noticed the tear tracks on both her cheeks and stopped herself from looking farther up.

_I can’t._

Lisa took a step back, “I promise.”

She turned and quietly left the room.

It was then that Jennie noticed the wetness on her own cheeks, she angrily swiped a hand at her face to rid herself of the offending liquid but it was useless. The tears wouldn’t stop.

Jennie hung her head, slid down the wall, and hugged her knees against her chest.

Lisa’s last words played on a loop in her mind.

 

_I’m sorry._

_I won’t do that again._

_I promise._

 

 

Lisa had never sounded so broken.

 

 

Jennie had never felt so hollow.

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

 

 

_Regret._

 

 

Nine months have passed and all Jennie feels is regret.

 

Nine months have passed and she wishes she could take all her words back.

 

Nine months have passed and she’s still helplessly, irrevocably, in love with Lalisa Manoban.

 

 

Nine months…

 

And Lisa wouldn’t even look at her.

 

**

 

She had tried to approach the younger girl, several times, in fact. But, somehow, Lisa always managed to evade her at the last second.

Lisa wasn’t stupid, she wasn’t obvious while they were out in public. Under the watchful eyes of their fans, when Jennie and Lisa were forced to interact, the younger girl would suddenly transform into her old self and pretend everything between them was alright, just dandy. But then, as soon as they stepped away from the cameras, away from the fans and the general public, Lisa would bolt from her side and get as far away as she possibly could without seeming suspicious.

What she didn’t notice, however, was the way Jennie’s gaze lingered on her retreating back every single time. The way the brunette crumbled beneath her façade, the way her jaw clenched and her back straightened while she tried to build her emotional walls back up.

(And failed.)

 

**

 

Jennie wasn’t only remorseful, she was green with envy.

Over the months, Lisa distanced herself from Jennie and got closer to the other members. Much closer.

Sometimes, it almost seemed like she was simply overflowing with love.

(The love that was supposed to be Jennie’s.)

And she couldn’t help but shower both Jisoo and Chaeyoung with it every chance she got.

 

It started with the unnecessary amount of handholding.

Everywhere they went Lisa would be latched onto one of the girls.

 _Everywhere_.

 

Then, there was the hugging.

 

The cuddling.

 

The _kissing_.

 

The _copious_ amount of kissing.

 

It all drove Jennie up the wall.

 

She didn’t like it. Not one bit.

 

 _She’s supposed to be_ mine _. She loves_ me _._

One part of her brain screamed.

 

_But I pushed her away, I’m such an idiot._

The other part replied.

 

 

Just then, as she walked past Chaeyoung’s room, she heard muffled talking followed by a loud moan.

“Ah, that feels so good, Chaeng.”

Jennie froze in her tracks, her eyes wide.

_It’s Lisa._

“Yeah?”

Another moan.

“Mhm, yea, keep going.”

“Like this?”

“Harder.”

Another moan escaped from the younger girl and Jennie’s mouth hung open in pure shock.

_Are they…?_

“Does it feel good?”

“ _Fuck_ , yes, right _there_.”

_They are._

Jennie clenched her jaw, her teeth ground together, and her hands balled up into fists. She quickly stepped away from the door and continued on to her room, her door slamming behind her.

Later, after she had more time to think, she decided to get out and wait in the living room. She wanted to have a talk with Lisa to hopefully clear things up a bit.

 _There’s no way they’re together, they’re just_ friends _._

(Or at least that’s what she told herself.)

_She was probably just giving her a massage._

_A massage._

_Yeah._

 

She waited.

 

And waited.

 

She waited for such a long time that she ended up falling asleep on the couch.

 

Lisa didn’t come out of Chaeyoung’s room that night.

 

**

 

“Unnie, what are you doing sleeping out here?” Chaeyoung nudged her awake.

“You could get a cold, you know?”

“Chaeng? What time is it?”

“It’s only nine.”

“Oh.”

“Why’d you sleep out here anyway?”

“I was…”

Jennie recalled the events of the previous night and a scowl formed on her face at the memory of it all. Her jealousy bubbled up inside of her and she had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep herself from saying something she’d later regret.

_Waiting for Lisa to get out of your room._

“I just fell asleep.”

“You were that tired?”

Jennie forced a smile onto her face and got off the couch.

“Yeah, thanks for waking me up,” she headed into the kitchen to get herself a drink.

She poured herself a glass of water and leaned against the kitchen counter as she reflected on what she’d heard the previous night.

That’s when she heard _her_.

“Chaeng?”

Her eyes snapped up to the source and zeroed in on the blonde that had just exited Chaeyoung’s room.

 “Good morning, sleepy head.”

Chaeyoung walked over to the younger girl and wrapped her in a warm embrace.

Jennie’s blood boiled.

“Why’d you get up so early?”

“I still have to go to church. Sorry, did I wake you?”

“No, I just missed your warmth.” Lisa tightened her embrace on the brunette and buried her face in her neck.

Chaeyoung giggled and hugged her back.

“You’re so needy.”

“Mhm.”

“Did you sleep okay?”

“Yea, still a bit sore though.”

“Was I too rough?”

Jennie’s jaw clenched and unclenched, she had a white knuckled grip on the glass of water.

“No, you made me feel better,” Lisa pecked the other brunette on the cheek, “thanks.”

“Always.”

 

Her hand tightened and the glass shattered under the pressure. Water and pieces of glass scattered all over the kitchen floor. Her eyes widened at her own actions, she hadn’t realized her hold on the glass was so tight.

“Unnie, are you okay?” Chaeyoung approached her. Lisa cautiously stayed behind once she realized it was Jennie in the kitchen.

“Yea-,”

“Oh my God, you’re bleeding!”

Jennie looked at her as if in a daze, her eyes traveled back down to her own bleeding hand then back up to Chaeyoung and the blonde girl standing behind her.

“Don’t move, you might step on the glass and hurt yourself,” Chaeyoung motioned at her bare feet.

“I’ll clean it up and have a look at that hand, stay right there.”

She disappeared off into another room.

Jennie winced once her brain finally caught up and a wave of pain shot up her hand and through her arm.

“Are you okay?” Lisa cautiously approached her, eyeing her bleeding hand with a frown on her face.

Jennie’s head snapped up in attention when she realized that her voice sounded like it was so much closer than it previously was.

She gaped at the blonde for a second. Lisa approached her. _Willingly_. _Without_ any cameras around.

“I’m- it hurts.”

Lisa carelessly stepped over the shattered glass on the floor, unlike Jennie, she was wearing flip flops, and took her hand in her own without so much as a word.

She took one look at the cut and clicked her tongue in disapproval.

“How did you even break it?”

Lisa looked at her, _truly_ looked at her, not through her or at some object in her vicinity, for the first time in nine months.

Jennie felt like she couldn’t breathe.

That penetrating gaze captivated her and she completely forgot how to form a proper sentence.

How she’d missed those dark chocolate eyes.

How she’d missed the warmth and the familiarity within them.

How she’d missed Lisa and all that she was.

“I-,”

“Lisa, be careful,” Chaeyoung returned with a broom and dust pan in hand, “we can’t have you both getting hurt, manager unnie will kill us.”

Lisa silently took a couple of steps back, out of Chaeyoung’s way, so the older girl could sweep up the pieces of shattered glass.

Chaeyoung quickly cleaned up the mess that Jennie made and disappeared once more to get bandages and antiseptics. Lisa approached Jennie again and wordlessly led her to the kitchen sink to wash off the blood. When Chaeyoung returned with the items, Lisa offered to help Jennie instead, the shorter brunette was taken aback by the sudden, unexpected, offer but happily complied. She’d waited so long for Lisa to initiate something with her again. Anything, really.

“Thanks, Rosie,” Jennie smiled at the younger girl

“Yea, no problem. I still have to go to church, I’ll be back later,” she motioned to the door.

Lisa gave her an eye smile and a peck on the cheek, “Thanks, Chaeng, see you.”

The tall brunette blushed and averted her gaze.

Jennie watched the scene unfold with a scowl on her face. She tugged at Lisa’s hand to lead her to the bathroom so the younger girl could finish cleaning up the cut on her hand and bandage it up for her.

The blonde gently dabbed around the cut, careful not to further hurt the shorter girl.

“So, all I had to do for you to stop avoiding me was get hurt? You should have told me earlier, I would have done it gladly.”

Lisa frowned and stopped her actions.

“Don’t say that.”

“Can you just…stop avoiding me from now on?”

A beat of silence.

“I miss you,” Jennie added in a quiet voice.

Lisa scoffed.

“ _You_ miss _me_? _You’re_ the one that pushed me away.”

“I know I did and I’m sorry for that, I regret it, Lisa. I regret it so much. Can we please just go back to the way things were before?”

A sad smile pulled at Lisa’s lips.

“Before?”

Jennie nodded, her eyes pleading.

“Before, when we were regular best friends who joked around and didn’t keep any secrets? Or, before, when you kissed me, made love to me, and proceeded to break my heart into a million pieces?”

“Lisa-,” Jennie reached for the younger girl but she evaded her grasp.

“ _No_ , Jennie, you don’t get to do that.”

“Please, I just-,”

“ _Stop_. You wanted to protect the group, I get that. I kept my distance because it’s the only way that I can-,” she stopped and took a deep breath. “Don’t you think you should be leading by example?”

“Is that what you really want?”

“It doesn’t matter what I want.”

“Just tell me one thing.”

“What?”

“Do you still love me?”

.

.

.

.

“No.”

 

**

 

 

Jennie was sad.

Angry.

Hurt.

She was a lot of things, really.

But, most of all, she was jealous.

Over the last several weeks she started to pick up on some things that she hadn’t previously noticed before.

Like, the fact that Lisa seemed to have taken up Chaeyoung’s room as her own as well.

Or, the way that Chaeyoung catered to the blonde’s every need without so much as a word.

Or, the way that Lisa looked at Chaeyoung.

(The way Lisa used to look at _her_.)

 

Saying Jennie was jealous might have been an understatement.

 

**

 

Jisoo and Jennie had been playing Overwatch when Lisa walked out of Chaeyoung’s room.

 _Again_.

Jennie’s mind supplied.

She clenched her jaw and pretended to be paying attention to the game before her rather than the blonde, but something caught her eye.

Lisa had been adjusting her shirt.

Almost as if she was _just then_ putting it on…

Almost as if…

 

Jennie’s team lost in the game.

She cussed and threw the controller aside.

“I call for a break.”

Jisoo snickered, “Tired of losing?”

“Shut up.”

 

**

 

“What’s going on with you and Chaeyoung?”

Lisa whipped around at the smooth voice of, none other than, Jennie Kim herself.

Standing in _her_ room.

Uninvited and very much unwelcome.

Lisa outwardly bristled but something inside of her turned.

Something that she was desperately trying to keep buried.

“What do you want?”

“Answer my question: what’s going on with you and Chaeyoung?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“We’re in the same group, Lisa, it _is_ my business.”

Lisa narrowed her eyes, “What Chaeyoung and I do behind closed doors is _none_ of your business.”

“What exactly is it that you do behind closed doors, huh?” Jennie stalked towards her.

“Like I sai-,”

“Do you cuddle like the innocent friends you’re supposed to be?”

Jennie took one step closer, Lisa took one step back.

“Do you kiss her, like a _friend_?”

Closer.

“Did you _fuck_ her?”

Closer.

“Tell me, Lisa, does she kiss you like I did?”

_Closer._

“Does she make love to you like I did?”

Lisa found herself cornered, trapped between the wall and Jennie’s body.

She trembled beneath the shorter girl’s burning gaze.

“I-,”

Her words were abruptly cut off by the brunette’s soft, sweet lips.

Lisa was lost, for a moment.

Her walls, the ones she worked so hard to build for the past ten months came crashing down upon her in an instant.

The second they broke apart, both flushed and out of breath, Lisa took one look at Jennie then pushed her away and walked right out of her own room.

One question plagued her mind:

_Why now?_

 

**

Chaeyoung walked into her room only to find Lisa sound asleep, hugging one of the pillows.

She quietly approached the younger girl with a smile on her face.

Lisa was always so beautiful, even while she slept. _Especially_ while she slept.

She looked so young, so innocent.

Chaeyoung got closer and crawled into bed behind the blonde. She wrapped her arms around the younger girl and took a deep breath of something that was so uniquely _Lisa_.

Lisa spent so much time there, at this point Chaeyoung’s whole bed smelled like her.

Chaeyoung loved it.

The blonde stirred and turned to face her.

“Hey, sleepy head.”

The younger girl smiled and nuzzled into her neck, just under her jawline, “Welcome back. How’d it go?”

“Really well, I think, they loved my voice.”

“Of course they did, who wouldn’t?”

“Believe it or not, some people still don’t.”

“Well, they’re crazy not to.”

Chaeyoung chuckled and buried her face in Lisa’s blonde locks.

.

.

.

.

“Chaeng?”

“Hm?”

“I need to tell you something.”

Chaeyoung pulled back slightly to look her in the face, a small line creased her eyebrows.

“What’s wrong?”

Lisa, upon seeing the worry and the adorable little frown on the latter’s face, couldn’t help herself and kissed her.

Not just because she was beautiful.

And good. _Too good_.

 

_You deserve better._

But because Lisa knew, after her confession, it might be the last time she got do so.

.

.

.

.

She pulled away, a small tear had already made its way down her cheek.

“It’s about Jennie.”

They both sat up. Chaeyoung’s previously bright smile turned sad.

Lisa slumped her shoulders and blankly stared down at the bedsheets.

“She- we kissed.”

Chaeyoung nodded for her to continue and kept a straight face.

“I didn’t think- I didn’t plan for this.”

Chaeyoung took a moment to compose herself.

_Breathe in._

_Breathe out._

_Don’t cry._

_Breathe in._

_Breathe out._

“Lisa,” Chaeyoung lifted her chin with a finger, “I know you love her. Don’t you think it’s time you faced your feelings for her once more?”

“I don’t-,”

“Yes, you do.”

Lisa hung her head in defeat.

She could deny it all she wanted.

She could lie to Jennie.

Lie to herself.

Lie to Chaeyoung.

She could lie to entire world through her teeth but the fact that she was still, irrevocably, in love with Jennie Kim stood.

.

.

.

.

“I’m sorry.”

 

“I know.”

 

_Breathe in._

 

“I do love you.”

_Breathe out._

 

“But you love her more.”

_Don’t cry._

 

**

 

After the kiss, after Lisa walked out and left her standing there, all alone, Jennie decided that maybe it was time she started to back off.

 

So, she did.

 

She stopped chasing.

But, after a couple of days, she started to notice a change.

 

Lisa wouldn’t immediately leave the vicinity the second she walked into a room.

She wouldn’t bolt away at the simplest touch.

She wouldn’t avoid her gaze.

 

Jennie didn’t fully catch on to what was truly happening until Lisa walked in on one of her solo dance practice sessions and pinned her against the wall with her hips. Her red lips were hungry, searching, making themselves acquainted once more.

 

“What about the fans? The rules? The company?” Lisa panted against Jennie’s lips.

“They don’t have to know.”

“What if they find out?”

“ _I don’t care_ , I just want you.”

She pulled the blonde back in for a searing kiss and wrapped her arms around her neck.

 

The wait had definitely been worth it.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had originally (and by originally I mean when I started writing ch 2) planned to make Chaelisa endgame for this one but then...stuff happened. Poor baby Chaeng :(

**Author's Note:**

> Raise our hand if you feel personally victimized by the author! lol


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